39,000 Steps At A LIV Golf Party In Trumpland

Donald Trump’s Doral golf club, officially known as Trump National Doral Miami, is situated just a few blocks northwest of Miami International Airport. The constant noise of airplanes landing overhead, with their landing gear deployed, creates a deafening atmosphere on the greens and fairways. The frequency at which the inbound air traffic crosses over Doral can make you feel like there is a jetliner heading straight towards you no matter where you stand on the club grounds. Even on the Silver Fox course, away from the club’s extravagant clubhouse and ongoing golf tournament, the tranquility of nature is consistently interrupted by loud passing airplanes.

Hosting the 2023 LIV Golf Team Championship at Doral only adds to the lack of serenity. Doral is not a place known for its peace and quiet. It is surrounded by massive and uninviting office parks that dominate the area. These monstrous, windowless office buildings and vast storage facilities make up a significant portion of the landscape. Among them, you’ll find a plumbing supply showroom of remarkable proportions, an extremely unattractive charter school called BridgePrep Academy, and the U.S. Southern Command military installation, which sits across from a barren field shared with a hideous Dolphin VOR navigation beacon. The beacon resembles a metallic tangle, surrounded by a chain-link fence, resembling some sort of bizarre Erector Set UFO.

During my stroll to Trump National Doral, which covered a distance of 3.1 miles, I encountered the gloomy field where the cattle roam alongside the military installation. I greeted the cows, although the experience brought about a sense of melancholy. I opted to walk instead of driving due to the limited and non-free event parking. Additionally, I couldn’t help but worry about the amount of money being spent by Defector to send me to this less-than-ideal location. It’s one thing to invest in flights and hotels for a blogger’s groundbreaking reporting trip, but quite another to send them on a self-inflicted journey to a charmless suburb of South Florida, surrounded by people they despise, covering an event they have no interest in. If a co-worker is sent to an event like this and ends up dying, at least spending a thousand bucks on their trip would make sense.

My walk was also an effort to give Doral a fair chance. Any place can seem like a nightmare when seen from the confines of a lousy rental car, battling unfamiliar traffic patterns while Siri shouts directions. To truly experience a place, one must breathe the air, acknowledge passersby with a nod and smile, touch the trees, wave hello to the cows, choose different routes in and out, and immerse themselves in the local environment. Unfortunately, the section of Doral surrounding Trump National wasn’t conducive to deepening my appreciation for the area. My walks only left me feeling saddened by the presence of cattle in such a desolate place.

However, my primary motivation for the walk was to accumulate steps. As someone whose job often involves sitting in front of a laptop, I needed the exercise.

10:46 a.m., 5,842 steps

The gates of Trump National Doral open for the 2023 LIV Golf Team Championship at 10:30 a.m. The golfing action doesn’t begin until 1:15 p.m., but the LIV organizers believe in creating the perfect team golf ambiance, which takes time. I arrive 16 minutes late for the opening, partly due to following walking instructions on my phone that misguided me through the property of the imposing U.S. Southern Command—a military facility that is certainly not open for pedestrians. Realizing my error, I had to retrace my steps and take a longer route. In hindsight, it was fortunate, for had I arrived five minutes earlier at the corner of NW 87th Avenue and Doral Boulevard, I would have missed encountering The LIV Golf Dog:

Photo by Chris Thompson

The vest adorning this dog reveals that it is the “Official Service Dog of 4Aces GC.” Although the 4Aces team did not participate in Friday’s round, this dedicated pup still had duties to fulfill. We part ways as I spot a large sign across the street indicating the boundary of the golf club. I follow the sidewalk markers towards the main entrance gate, while I imagine this dog heads straight for the employee entrance.

10:56 a.m., 6,825 steps

I am handed a yellow “Day 1” wristband before passing through a metal detector. The walkway trails alongside a low building and then leads to a grand set of stone stairs that may be part of the expansive clubhouse. The whole structure exudes opulence, with “rococo” swiftly coming to mind. There stands a large arrangement of plastic white letters spelling out “LIV GOLF” along the path, designated as a popular spot for photos later in the day. Yet, at this early hour, it is in what I call “Miami Mode”:

That’s Miami Mode.

Photo by Chris Thompson

Beyond this sight, the path curves towards the main entrance of the clubhouse. To the left, there is an archway signaling the LIV Golf Fan Village. At Bedminster in 2022, this fan village was sizable, filled with booths, and incredibly scorching—an altogether miserable place to spend any amount of time. However, it is noticeably smaller here in Doral, with an abundance of shade. Instead of the sad LIV Golf food vendors, the concessions are provided by vibrant food trucks. Surprisingly, it is a rather pleasant place to take a breather. It seems the LIV Golf organizers have picked up a thing or two. I decide to order a smoothie from one of the food trucks, as my shirt is already soaked with sweat, and the golf won’t start for another 139 minutes. In front of a vibrantly colored cardboard backdrop, there hangs a LIV-branded plastic golf ball, about the size of a medicine ball, suspended by a rope. Energetic young women wearing LIV Golf lanyards encourage children to climb onto the ball for photographs. I sit at a shaded picnic table, observing this cheerful scene while enjoying my smoothie. Suddenly, a preteen boy wearing a white hat that proudly displays red “TRUMP” lettering clambers onto the ball. He’s dressed like a golfer, donning the typical unflattering corporate-retreat outfit: an atrocious patterned polo shirt tucked into boxy khaki shorts, white crew socks, and brown and white golf shoes. He manages to look both 13 years old and 55 years old simultaneously. Carrying a small stick with a paper cutout of Phil Mickelson’s face attached to one end, the boy holds it up to cover his own face when his parents snap his pictures. Everyone around him squeals with delight. Time to continue my exploration! I need more steps!

11:15 a.m., 8,077 steps

As I circle back towards a shaded cart path leading to the open expanse of the Blue Monster course, I pass by a set of golf carts labeled as belonging to the support “team” of Harold Varner III, a member of RangeGoats GC. Along this stretch of the cart path, vertical fabric signs for each team are set up, featuring a pair of friendly faces on each side. Everywhere, signage reminds me that there are 12 LIV Golf teams to choose from when it comes to rooting for a favorite. However, I’m aware that only eight teams are participating today, with four of them facing elimination by the end of the day. The details of this tournament format are somewhat unclear to me.

Photo by Chris Thompson

The morning has been rather overcast, but at exactly 11:01…

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